This is one of the best 50's video's I've seen. You will enjoy this. But only if you were in that-generation or very close. .. . . And if you were not in this generation -- listen and eat your hearts out. It was one of the best of times...
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty
sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at
work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything
productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I
don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks
me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that
I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not
to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just
nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they
said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams
up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong,
brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get
dirty, and you can wear them forever...
22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch three consecutive times and
still not know what time it is.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on
the Donkey; but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button
from 3-feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every
time.
24. People who forward e-mail without deleting the tons of previous
recipients should be shot and then tarred and feathered.
25. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in hockey in 1874
and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100
years for men to realize that their brain is also important. Ladies,
quit laughing!
Subject: Fw: FW: Fw: Indian Saying
The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that:
"When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount."
However, in government more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.
5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.
7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.
9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse's performance.
10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.
11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.
12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.
And, of course...
13. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.
your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty
sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at
work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything
productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I
don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks
me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that
I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not
to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just
nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they
said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams
up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong,
brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get
dirty, and you can wear them forever...
22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch three consecutive times and
still not know what time it is.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on
the Donkey; but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button
from 3-feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every
time.
24. People who forward e-mail without deleting the tons of previous
recipients should be shot and then tarred and feathered.
25. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in hockey in 1874
and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100
years for men to realize that their brain is also important. Ladies,
quit laughing!
Subject: Fw: FW: Fw: Indian Saying
The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that:
"When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount."
However, in government more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.
5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.
7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.
9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse's performance.
10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.
11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.
12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.
And, of course...
13. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.
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